Tis the Season to be Jolly
by Lolly4Holly
Summary: Christmas, the worst time of year to be miserable and on your own. Greg thought he was doing the right thing, but how could he let someone like Nick slip through his fingers so easily. Nick/Greg Slash. One Shot. COMPLETE


**Tis the Season to be Jolly**

 **One Shot**

 **Author:** Lolly4Holly

 **Pairings:** Nick/Greg Slash – Established Relationship. Minor GSR Gil/Sara

 **Summary:** Christmas, the worst time of year to be miserable and on your own. Greg thought he was doing the right thing, but how could he let someone like Nick slip through his fingers so easily.

 **Warnings:** Adult content. **M/M** Slash relationship.

 **Author's Note:** My Friend set me a challenge for CSI Christmas Hallmark movie moment and it turned into 10,000+ words worth of a one shot. I hope you guys enjoy it. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

~ Holly

* * *

"Greg!" His mother called from downstairs.

It felt like he was seventeen years old again, only rather than closing the crinkled pages of his favourite magazine and stuffing it in its usual hiding spot, he simply had to close his laptop. He pushed himself up from his childhood desk, making his way towards the top of the stairs. He trudged his way down before she started yelling again, making a small adjustment to the air-con on his way through to the kitchen. Despite the Christmas season, the house was scorching hot and he was actually wearing shorts and a t-shirt rather than the ugly Christmas sweater his Great Aunt had knitted especially for him.

"Gregory Hojem Sanders!" The woman bellowed from across the room, giggling as she spotted the man in question. "Oh, there you are. I didn't hear you come down. Thought you might have dozed off up there. So, what do you think? Your father thinks they look like demonic gnomes rather than Santa's little elves." She raised one of the hand decorated cupcakes from the counter in front of her.

"Uh… I guess they do kinda resemble garden gnomes." He agreed, dropping into one of the seats around the counter. "Is _that_ all you called me down for?"

"No, I called you down because you're not fifteen anymore. You're supposed to enjoy being around your parents, especially during the holiday season. Not cooped up in your room upstairs doing god only knows what." His mother playfully draped a string of sparkly red tinsel around his neck. "It's so good to have you home again, sweetheart. It feels like it's been years since we last had you under our roof. I've yet to see that beautiful smile of yours though." She touched her hand to his cheek, looking at the sorrow in his eyes. "Sweetheart, if there's anything…"

"Leave it alone, Mom." He saw the curiosity in her eyes.

"But you've barely said anything since you got here." She huffed in disappointment. "You know me better than anyone, Greg. You know I can't let something like this go. I'll drive you mad with questions before I let it go. Just tell me… if he hurt you…"

"Only my heart." He sighed softly, dropping his head into his hands. "The truth is… I…"

"I've come bearing gifts!" Nana Olaf rattled a sting of Christmas bells as she made her way into the kitchen. "Hello everyone! Hello sweetheart." She pecked a kiss to her grandson's cheek, setting down a decorated Christmas tin on the counter. "Good lord, Jean. What on earth are they?" She scrutinized the cupcakes. "Gnomes aren't Christmasy or festive."

"Mom now isn't a good time. We were just…"

"Oh leave the poor boy alone, Jean. He's not a child anymore. He's allowed a little bit of mystery to him. Do I sense someone isn't in the Christmas spirit?" Nana Olaf slid her hands across her grandson's shoulders, holding him tightly in her embrace. "Oh, I missed you. You've cut your hair again." She noticed, combing her fingers through its much shorter length. "At least it's more natural in colour now, I guess."

"He had to dull it down a bit. What with him being an important crime scene investigator now." Jean pointed out to her mother. "More professional that way."

"About time, you'll be forty in five years." She sucked in a sharp breath. "Then you'll have to keep dying it to hide those awful greys."

"Oh Mom, don't. You'll make me feel old."

"You're as young as you feel, Jean. Well, I made my famous Christmas cake." She tapped the decorative tin in front of them. "I wouldn't advise driving after you've had a slice though." She cackled with laughter, sounding like she had already been at it. "I've got lots of goodies in my bag too. For later though. Where's your father got to?"

"Daniel is in the garden." Jean motioned over her shoulder. "He's setting up the reindeer and sleigh on the grass. I told him to test the lights on those things first, but he wants to get them in position before the grand reveal later."

"Those things haven't seen the light of day ever since this one was in braces. Is that pie I can smell?" The old woman followed her nose towards the oven. "You're burning the crust, Jean. Why have you got it on such a high heat?"

"It's not burning, it's browning. It goes nice and crispy that way." She swatted the old woman's hand away from her oven. "Leave it alone, mother. Stop interfering all the time."

Greg couldn't help but smile from his position, feeling right at home already.

Leaving the women to their usual argument, Greg made his way outside, heading towards his father halfway down the garden path. The man was sat on the edge of the raised flower bed they had built together one sweltering hot summer, desperately trying to untangle the long string of lights that served as the reins to Santa's sleigh.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hey, kiddo." Daniel shifted over a little, making room for him to sit down. "Is that your Nana I heard?"

"I think the whole block heard her bells." Greg smirked, grabbing a section of the tangled lights to give his father a hand. "I guess Mom told you what happened?" He always preferred talking to his father more than his mother, mostly because he just listened rather than asked a million questions, but relationships always got complicated with his father. He still wasn't sure if his father even accepted the fact that he preferred men over women.

"She might have mentioned it." The man nodded, lowering the tangled nest to his thighs. "I am sorry to hear that you broke up. I know he meant a lot to you."

"Y-eah."

Anxiously biting his bottom lip, Daniel cautiously fiddled with the knotted bunch of lights, before he lifted his gaze to meet his son's. "If you… want to talk about it."

"No offence Dad, but you've never been much for relationship advice."

"I can try." The man gave him a smile. "I liked Nick." He confessed, seeing the surprise in his son's eyes. "I did. Ryan hit you at the first sign of trouble. Tyler treated you like a piece of luggage and I didn't think much of that… Hainsley, was it? Don't even get me started on that tattooed nut job you brought back from New York. Nick… he was one of the good ones. He really cared for you. I didn't have to worry about protecting you so much when he was…"

Greg nodded his head slightly, pulling the last tangle free. "He still is one of the good ones. I was the one who broke up with him." He confessed.

"Wh-what? Why?" Daniel was taken aback. "I thought you…"

"I do." He dropped the lights to the ground. "You know that saying if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's forever. If it doesn't… then it was never meant to be." Greg tilted his head back to look at the sky. "I felt like it was the right thing to do at the time. I love Nick… more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone else, but sometimes I feel like we're not on the same page. Nick wants a family. Children with the hopes of grandchildren. Even the family mutt. Buying a house with him was a stretch out of my comfort zone already."

"You bought a…"

"Yeah, I meant to tell you that." Greg anxiously bit his bottom lip. "We've only been living there… three or four weeks now. Most of our stuff is still in boxes. Made it easier to move out."

"You moved…" Daniel breathed in a deep breath to keep his cool, before he composed himself enough to speak. "You bought a house with him then you moved out? How much of your money went into it?"

"We split it fifty, fifty. I guess we can sell it for the same."

"Greg." The man frowned at his son. "You don't enter into something like this lightly."

"I didn't know we were going to break up." Greg defended himself, getting up from the flower bed. "I dragged my heels as much as I could on that one, but in the end it made sense and I wanted to get a place with him. We were always at each other's places, so it made sense to get a place together. We looked at loads of houses before we made a decision together… and it is really nice. Not exactly my dream home… but I could see myself living there with him for years to come."

"Well… moving is never easy." His father advised, clutching the lights a little tighter in his palms. "The packing alone… ugh, it puts pressure on everything. Maybe it was just…"

"Moving wasn't the problem." Greg cut him off, going off into a full rant. "It was _him_ always wanting… more. I knew he wanted kids one day, but I've never really thought about it. I thought _I_ would be enough for him, but he's always searching for the next step. I thought buying a house together was a giant step forward for us to prove to him that I'm not some commitment phobe and I'm in this relationship for the long haul, but it only made him want more for us. He's talking about converting the spare room into the kids room. The kids we don't even have yet, let alone discussed. I guess with all his sisters being married with kids, even his brother has been married three times… he wanted all of that too."

"Oh." Daniel sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly wishing he had kept his mouth shut. "And you don't…?"

"I… don't know." Greg threw his arms in the air in frustration. "We never really discussed it. Hearing him talk about all that stuff kinda freaked me out. I love my job. Catherine only has the one kid. She's a single parent and she's constantly trying to balance her work around her home life. Brass' daughter hates him because he was never there. Warrick died before he even got to know his son."

"You're not them, Greg."

"You're not them either, but you still prioritised work over me." He blurted out.

"Okay." His father nodded, lowering his gaze. "I deserved that one." He gulped down the lump in his throat, watching his son pacing back and forth in front of him. "I always made time for you on weekends. The boat, the camping trips… they were all for you. I wanted to give you and your mother the best life. I guess I just never figured out the proper balance."

"You were there for the important stuff." Greg stopped in front of him. "I just… I really hated coming in second place to your job. For the record, I would do exactly the same thing. I love my job. I could never give it up. I work as many hours as I'm allowed, just because I love being there. Nick practically has to twist my arm, just to get me to take a day off with him. A kid would be in second place to my career. I don't think I could do that to someone else… especially a child."

"You don't want kids… because of how I treated you?" His father tried to understand his point.

"No. Hell no." Greg quickly shook his head. "You were the best Dad ever. I wish I could be half the Dad you were, but I'm way more selfish. It's not that I do or I don't want kids. I just… I kinda want Nick to myself. The divorce rate at the lab is like ninety percent and most of those have kids. I immediately saw flashes of Nick and me in a custody battle over these kids we didn't even have yet. So I thought if I broke up with him… it would set him free to be with someone who actually wants all of those things with him. But I've only been away from him for four days and it's killing me already. I don't want him to be with someone else."

"Greg, your happiness is important too."

"I _was_ happy… with him. Now I've done what I always do and ruin everything. But what did I expect; I was the first guy he had ever been with. He thought he was straight before I kissed him. Or at least he thought he could pretend to be straight for the rest of his life before me. He wants the wife, kids, white picket fence and family dog dream. I'm gayer than a fairy on a Christmas Tree."

Daniel smiled softly, realising he no longer got the chills when we used that dreaded 'G' word. "I don't exactly have your mother's wisdom here, but I think you just need to talk to each other. Your mother and I have been together since we were fourteen, but we had known each other since we were in the first grade. We got pregnant with you at eighteen. Married at twenty four. Bought our first house together when we were in our thirties. You and Nick… you've only been together for a year… if that. You don't have to cram everything in such a short space of time."

"We're older than you were."

"True." His father agreed with him on that one. "But the same rules apply. You have to get to know someone before you take the big steps forward. I wouldn't say you were a commitment phobe, but I would say that you need time to experience something before you commit."

He climbed to his feet, placing his hands on his son's shoulders as he gave him some fatherly wisdom.

"When you were four, you were terrified of the water. You hated baths; swimming was completely out of the question. We didn't know what set off this fear, so we decided to start you out slow with a light paddle in the sea, only getting your feet wet. You started getting more adventurous and jumped the waves with your Papa Olaf, right up to your elbows. A few years later, you started swimming with those rubber arm bands when you were nine, only staying around the edge of the pool. Then it was that inflatable tire thing. You'd push yourself right out into the middle of the pool with that thing around your waist. You surprised us and started swimming on your own. I could take you out on the boat without the life jacket and arm bands strapped around you. You learnt how to surf and dive. You just need time to experience something before you take the plunge."

Daniel pulled his son into his arms, holding him tightly against his chest.

"I know you love him, but it wouldn't hurt if you slowed things down a little. Baby steps. Do things at your own pace. You've got plenty of years left to be with him. You don't have to throw it all away just because he's a few pages ahead of you. Talk to him." He advised, pressing a kiss to the side of his son's head. "I spoke to Nick the last time you were here. Well, after your last boyfriends, I wanted to make sure that his intentions with you were… pure." He answered his son's scowl. "When I spoke to him, he told me he had never been more serious about anyone in his life. I think he'll come back to you." He tapped his son on the back, giving him a smile. "He'll come back. You just have to work on your communication skills. And apply the brakes. Baby steps."

Greg gave the man a slight smile. "Sometimes real wisdom comes out that head of yours."

"Told you, I'm not completely useless." He motioned his attention back to the sleigh. "Shall we plug it in? See if the lights still work?"

"I don't know… they look kinda rusted." Greg took a step back just in case, watching his father connecting them up to the power outlet.

Rudolph's bright red nose immediately sparked to life, followed by the stream of red and white flashes from the reins. He watched the familiar pattern running through the reins, feeling right at home, until a spark flared and the whole thing went dark.

"Hm… I think a bulb blew." Daniel examined the section that sparked carefully. "Easy fix. I'm pretty sure I have some spares in the attic. You coming in?" He led the way back inside, pecking a kiss to his wife's cheek on his way through the kitchen. "Something smells good."

"Don't get your hopes up, it's burnt." Nana Olaf piped in, giving her daughter a devilish grin. "That sleigh of yours is looking a little grim, Daniel. Isn't it about time you got yourself some new Christmas decorations for the garden?"

"We've had those reindeer since Greg was still in diapers."

"Maybe when Greg starts to change some diapers of his own, you can treat yourselves to some new ones." The woman grinned, seeing glum expressions plastered across their faces. "I've put my foot in it now, haven't I? What did I do this time?"

"Nick and I… broke up." Greg spoke softly, feeling hopeful after his chat with his father. "I'm… gonna go check my emails." He left them to it, returning to his sleeping laptop on his desk. How could he be so stupid and let a man like Nick slip through his fingers?

* * *

"Hey," Catherine stepped into the locker room beside the younger man, folding her arms across her chest. "So, are you going to tell me why you lost it back there? I get it, believe me I do. I'm a mother, Nick. The thought of a father torturing… murdering his own daughter like that… it makes my skin crawl," She involuntarily shivered at the thought of it. "But losing it like that in a station full of witnesses."

"I didn't kill the guy." Nick defended himself, cradling his bruised knuckles against his chest. "I only got two hits in before they pulled me away."

"We've all had our moments, so I can sympathise with you on this, I really can. But you practically beat the guy to death, Nicky." The woman sighed softly, putting her back to the wall. "You're lucky he doesn't want to press charges. With Grissom away on leave, the decision falls to me. Ecklie is pushing for an immediate suspension. We've already got an internal investigation going on after one of Ecklie's guys mishandled the evidence from that Kelly murder case. It doesn't help matters that she was dating his brother."

"You're suspendin' me?" He took a step back from his locker, clenching his teeth as he gave her a nod. "He beat his thirteen year old daughter to death and he's sittin' there grinnin' with his overpaid lawyer. How is that…"

"I know." She cut him off, pushing the door closed before anyone heard his raised voice. "It's not our call. We can't take the law into our own hands. If Metcalfe hadn't pulled you off the guy, you'd be the ones in cuffs right now. Go home, Nick. Spend the holidays with Greg or something. Just _try_ to keep your head down."

"Greg's… gone." Staring at the photo of the younger man on his locker door, Nick sighed out a deep breath, wondering where he had gone wrong. "He left me."

Catherine felt her heart skip a beat. She thought for sure they were the real thing, but it seemed they were just as fragile as everything else. "Uh… when did he…?"

"Four days ago." He whispered. "Feels like a lifetime."

"Oh Nick, I'm sorry." His outburst suddenly made sense now. He had been so calm and collected since he started dating, Greg. She feared his downward spiral would continue where it left off now he was out of the picture. "If you need anything, Lindsey and I are spending the holidays alone."

"I'll be fine." He stepped around her, grabbing the door. "She wanted to be a vet. His daughter. She loved animals. She drew wolves in her notebook. She was thirteen years old, Catherine. What could she have done that deserved this?"

"I know." The woman nodded, really feeling for him. "Believe me, I know. We don't have the evidence. There's no proof that he did… there's nothing. We tried."

"Not hard enough." He muttered.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I wish we had something. Do you really think I _want_ to let a guy like that just walk away? I have a daughter a little older than her Nick. Maybe if social services had done a better job, she wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place. Maybe if her junkie mother had given a crap about her, she'd still be alive. We have nothing." She tried to drum it into his head. "According to everyone he's ever been around, he's a stand up guy. There's no evidence that he ever even hit his daughter. There's no evidence on her body. You were there with me at the crime scene. There was nothing to tie him to any of it. The school Principal is closer to this whole thing than him, but we don't have the evidence. We have to let him go."

"Then I can't do this anymore, Catherine. What's the point in it all if murderers like that get off the hook?" He unhooked his ID badge from his belt, dropping it to the locker room floor.

"Nick, don't. Throwing your career away like this… you're letting him win."

"He already _has_ won." He pointed out the cold hard truth to her. "You can tell Ecklie there's no need to suspend me. I quit."

"Nick." She called out for him, but he was adamant on his decision. He stormed his way towards the elevators, jamming his fingers into the button, until one finally arrived. "Damn it." The woman muttered, pulling her cell from her pocket. "Sara, hi… listen, there's an angry southern boy on his way down to you. I need you to intercept and detain until I get there. Just do it. We have to stop him from doing something stupid."

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" When Greg fell silent and averted his eyes, his Nana immediately grinned, setting the plate of Christmas cake down in front of her grandson. "Sweetheart, there's nothing you can tell me that would change the way I feel about you. Nothing. I told you that before and you trusted me. I'm not going to push you to talk like your mother would, but I am here if you need an ear. I'm here if you need a hug too. I miss my hugs from my little cuddle muffin."

Greg couldn't help but smile, reaching out for his slice of cake that smelled like a freshly opened bottle of rum. "You haven't called me that in years."

"I think I embarrassed you the last time I did. You were sixteen and we were on school grounds."

"Don't remind me." He took his first bite, choking softly as the alcohol hit the back of his throat. "Wow… did you pour in a whole bottle?"

"Yes actually, it's part of the process. You soak all the fruit in rum for two days, before you even start to make the cake. It makes it lovely and moist. Not like your mother's dry old cake that no one ever wants to eat."

"I heard that!" Her daughter yelled from the other room.

"Got your hearing aid turned up then?" His Nana cackled, joining her grandson the other side of the counter with her own slice of cake. "If you don't think that I can offer you any comfort from sharing your problem, then I don't hold it against you for keeping it to yourself."

"I thought you said you wouldn't push me to talk?" He gave her a smile.

The woman giggled softly, gently elbowing his side. "You know I can't resist. Where do you think your mother gets it from?" She slid closer, whispering, "Your mother was a very tight lipped teen. Never got more than two words out of her. It took all my energy just to get her to talk about her day at school. You'd never know it looking at her now."

"Look at you two, thick as thieves." Jean returned, setting the turkey roasting pan on the side. "I found it. Told you I would."

"That turkey isn't going to fit in there, Jean." Her mother shook her head, stuffing another piece of cake into her mouth. "I told you it was too big when you bought it. There's only four of us. Why would you need a turkey that size?"

"Daniel and Greg love their turkey sandwiches the day after Christmas and this way, we can have turkey the rest of the week."

Nana Olaf's false smile expanded. "Yummy… dry turkey."

"You're awful, you are." Jean shook her head, fanning her hand in front of her nose. "Good lord, it smells like a brewery in here. I'm surprised that thing didn't set alight."

"Don't knock it til you tried it. You always loved my Christmas cakes as a girl."

"I like it." Greg cut through their arguing, already feeling a little light headed just from the smell.

"Thank you, sweetheart." His Nana put her arm around his shoulder, pecking a kiss to the side of his head. "See Jean, this is why we have children. So we can spoil our grandchildren rotten."

"Fat chance of that ever happening for me." She said without thinking, slapping her hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay." Greg shook his head, climbing up from the counter. "I'm gonna go check my phone."

"Oh, tell your father there's a slice of cake with his name on it down here. As long as he's not planning on driving or operating any heavy machinery, he should be okay." Nana Olaf giggled, turning her attention towards her daughter. "You better get that thing in the oven soon, Jean. It's gone noon already and that thing still has ice crystals on it. We'll be eating it at midnight at this rate."

"Oh shut up, you." Jean scowled at her mother. "I cook it the same every year and you love it every time."

"I'm only teasing." Her mother presented her with a genuine smile. "Modern technology, aye? That boy has been on those devices more than he's been with us so far. We never had all these distractions in our day. My friend, Julie just went up to Canada to see her grandkids. She said the whole lot of them were on their phones around the dinner table. The parents are just as bad. She said she's not gonna bother next year. They can Skype her if they want to see her."

"Greg isn't like that. He's waiting for Nick to respond." Jean enlightened her mother.

"Why didn't you tell me Greg broke up with that cute southern boy?"

"He didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I doubt we've seen the last of him though." Jean gave her mother a knowing smile. "Who do you think I bought the big turkey for?"

* * *

"Please stop followin' me." Abandoning yet another bar in his time of need, Nick found his way out into the cool air of the parking lot, stabilising himself against a nearby lamp post. He barely touched the bottom of that last drink he had, but it was worth it for the slight buzz he could feel in his veins. "I told you I want to be alone, Sara." He groaned, feeling her shadow behind him. "I know Catherine told you to keep an eye on me, but I don't need a babysitter."

"Who said I'm here as your sitter? And I would _never_ do any favours for Catherine. We're not exactly besties." His stalker joined him, checking the time on her watch.

Rubbing the cobwebs from his eyes, Nick caught her staring at her watch for the third time in the last half hour. "Somewhere you have to be?"

"I'm supposed to meet a friend at the airport."

"A guy friend?" He queried.

"Girl actually. Not like that." Sara put a stop to the man's dirty mind. "We went to college together. She's in town on a flyby visit. I said I'd pick her up after my shift and drive her to her hotel, so she didn't have to fuss with a taxi."

"Go then. I'm not stoppin' you." Nick clawed at the lamp post to stay upright, feeling his head starting to spin.

"I think she'll understand that my other friend needs me more right now."

"I don't need you."

"Yes you do." Sara caught his arm as he keeled over, cringing as the man threw up the last four rounds of drinks he had consumed while she took a bathroom break. She helped him to his feet once he had nothing left, retrieving a makeup wipe from her handbag so he could wipe his chin. "Come on, I'll give you a lift home."

"I don't want to go." He dug his heels in, staying put.

"I'm not letting you back in that bar."

"I can find another one."

"Great, I really love reliving moments from my childhood." The woman sarcastically remarked, remembering dragging her father away from a bar, covered in his own puke. "I know what happened at the lab. I heard. It's not fair… I know. If I worked that case I probably would have put a bullet through that smug bastards face. We're not supposed to get emotionally involved, but we do, especially in something like this. You have to let it go. If you're like this… then you're no good for the next victim who needs you. That prick will get what's coming to him. They always do. Sometimes it just takes a little longer than it should."

"Just leave me alone, Sara." Nick pushed her away. "I didn't ask for your help."

"How is you getting in this state helping anyone?" She shivered at the memory of shouting those same words to her father. "Do you think Greg would want to see you like this?"

"He's not here."

"What about Warrick?"

Nick shot her daggers for that one, stumbling back against the brick wall of the bar. "I think Warrick would be happy to even be here. And Greg… he can stay gone for all I care. After everythin' I put myself through for him, everythin' I did… my family won't even speak to me anymore and he just throws everythin' away like it never meant anythin'."

"You mean everything to Greg."

"He told you he left me then? Of course he did, he always goes runnin' to you at the first sign of trouble."

"He loves you."

The man shook his head, sliding down the wall to sit on the concrete. "Not enough."

"The man never stops talking about you. All day, every day it's Nick, Nick, Nick. He never shuts up about you. Now I have to listen to your pathetic pity party." The woman folded her arms across her chest, looking down at the man. "You're a grown man, sitting in a gutter where he just threw up, crying that you've lost the only man you've ever loved. Get up and do something about it."

"Go away, Sara." He held his hand over his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears. "I know what you're tryin' to do."

"Good, because I'm glad Warrick isn't here to see this. You're right, he would be happy to be alive. Tina kicked him out, but he never stopped fighting to see his son. He never gave up because more than anything in the world, he wanted to give Elijah the chance to have a father that he never had himself. He would be ashamed to see you like this. Greg isn't lost to you; he's in California with his family, moping about you. I have the texts to prove it."

"What?" Nick perked up, lifting his gaze to hers.

"Yeah, I'm getting pretty sick of it too. You two need to talk, seriously. I'm not someone you can dump your emotional baggage on. You know me better than that." She dug out her phone. "Here, look at this last message from Greg… Sara I think I've made a horrible mistake. What if he never realises how much he means to me? What have I done?" She read it out loud from her phone. "Greg is nuts about you. He let you go to set you free. You've obviously done something that made him think you weren't happy with him, so he broke up with you thinking that he was saving you from being stuck with him. It would kill him to see you like this now."

"Wh-what did I say to him?"

"I don't know, but you know how sensitive he is to every word. Look at this one… I want him to be happy, but I think I will kill myself if I see him happy with someone else. Why am I such an idiot?" Sara rolled her eyes at the melodrama. "I can't deal with this much emotional baggage. I mean, I love you guys, but you seriously need to vent your emotions on someone else."

"I didn't… what did I say?"

"Who knows," Sara shrugged her shoulders together. "Only one way to find out though. C'mon Nick, you're a bright man. You know that the only way to find out is to ask the man himself." She motioned for him to get up. "Honestly, I can't believe either of you even went four days without even communicating. Last week Greg texted you nine times in a fifteen minute car ride. It's nauseating how much he loves you. He's right out of an over the top romance movie that only hapless saps go to watch."

Nick allowed a slight smile to grace his lips, rolling his head back against the brick wall. "Man, Grissom must love date night with you."

"He does actually." She flashed him a smile. "Can we get this pity party over with now? Some of us have plans."

Sniffling back his tears threatening to spill, Nick struggled to pull himself to his feet, feeling as though the world was spinning beneath him. "You're right. I'm sorry." He spoke softly. "If that offer of a ride is still available, I'd really like to go home and shower."

Sara cracked a grin. "Sure. But you're sitting in the back."

"Wait," The man bent over, bracing his hands against his knees to stop himself from falling. He gagged on the bile rising through his throat, really regretting that last drink. "Fuck Christmas. This is the worst time of year."

"Tell me about it." Sara sighed, making a move for her car. "I think I have some plastic in the back of my car. You can sit on that until we get you home."

"You're a good friend, Sara."

"I know." She giggled. "And for the record, Catherine is total bitch for suspending you over this."

"She didn't have a choice. Ecklie saw them draggin' me away from the guy. He still had that stupid smug smile on his face after I hit him for the first time." Nick stopped beside her car, watching her fetching the plastic sheeting from the back. "You got a shovel back there too?"

Sara chuckled softly, nodding her head. "Only because Gil and I were hiking last weekend. We needed a shovel to dig out the camp fire site."

"It's so weird hearin' you call him Gil." He cringed a little.

"That's his name."

"Yeah, I know. But it's like my sister callin' our Dad by his first name." He pointed out to her, climbing in the back seat as soon as it was covered with plastic. He lay his head back against the plastic covered head rest, starting to doze off to sleep as Sara directed her car in the direction of his empty house. He stumbled over a box of Greg's books in the doorway, bending to take a look inside. It was loaded with soppy romances, thrillers, fantasy and crime novels. He had barely touched a book himself in years, but Greg got through one of these in a few days.

"Need me to stick around?" Sara appeared in the open doorway behind him.

"No… I'll be a'ight." Nick straightened up, kicking his shoes off at the bottom of the stairs. "I think I'll just take a shower then go to bed."

"You're not going after Greg? Where's my soppy romance movie ending?"

Nick chuckled, shaking his head at her. "Now you want the soppy romance stuff?"

"Sure, I want to see how it all plays out. It's Christmas Day. You both miss each other. He's a love sick puppy and you're a drunken mess. It's the perfect setting for a soppy romantic ending. You should go after him."

"And say what?" He turned to face her. "Anythin' I do say might push him further away from me. I can't talk to him with his family there. You think they were nosy when they came by the lab, you don't know the half of it. There's no peace at his house. Everyone is in everyone's business. There's no secrets or privacy. It's kinda… nice… compared to my own family who are full of secrets… but I can't talk to him with them all there."

"You'll miss him. It's Christmas Day." She reiterated her point. "It's your first Christmas together. Your first Christmas in this house."

"We're not together, so it's not our first anythin'." He took two steps up the stairs, before he turned to face her. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I do care. I never really had much of a family growing up. This rather dysfunctional group we have at the lab has become the only real family I've ever known and I care about what happens to you all. I love Greg like the little brother I lost in foster care. He loves you and I love you too. The happiest I've ever seen you is when you're with him. A year ago, you were in a really dark place. I thought we'd lost the old Nick for good, but Greg made you feel again. Don't lose that, Nick." She gave the man a genuine smile. "If you want, I can give you a lift. Gil is in California with his mother for the holidays, so it's kind of on the way."

"Is this a booty call trip?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Go shower." She ushered him away with her hand. "You better pack a few things too. Two weeks suspension. You might be with the Sanders clan for a while."

"Assumin' I make it past the front door. You haven't met his Nana Olaf." He hurried up the stairs, shedding his clothes at the bathroom door. He found Greg's shower gel still hung in their stall, taking a moment to breath in the familiar almond scent. He was a fool to ever let that man go, but he still had no idea what he had even said to push him away in the first place.

"You know, if it doesn't work out," Sara called through the door. "You can spend the holidays with Gil and me."

"Great, listenin' to Dad and my sister havin' sex through paper thin walls. No thank you."

He turned the tap for the cold water, wincing as the icy drops pelted down around him. He took a step further into the shower, shivering under the cold spray. He ran his hand back through his hair as he closed his eyes, wishing he knew what he had done to push Greg away.

After a quick shower, Nick grabbed himself a clean towel, heading for the bedroom he had barely even slept in.

"Going through my stuff now, Sidle?" Nick found her in his room, poking through his boxes of clothes. He wrapped his towel tightly around his waist, grabbing a pair of jeans from the chair. "You really can't switch off your CSI brain, can you?" He smiled at her, searching around for a shirt.

"No, it keeps me calm. Greg left a lot of stuff here."

"Greg _has_ a lot of stuff." He corrected her. "He could only fit a few boxes in his car when he... left. Do you know where he's been stayin'?" Nick turned away from her as he pulled his jeans on beneath the towel.

"Yeah." She pushed herself to her feet. "He's been staying with the Phillips'. David offered him his spare room when he heard him moping about you on a crime scene. David's wife makes him porridge before his shift. Apparently the scent of porridge reminds him of you." She smirked at the love sick puppy. "How long did you live here exactly?"

"Laugh it up, Sidle. You're still livin' alone after nine years in a relationship." He gave her a grin, buttoning his shirt up his chest. "Maybe we did move a little fast, but I thought at least that we were serious about each other. Ten months." He thought back. "The longest relationship I've ever had and it all goes up in smoke after we get a house together. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. We didn't even have time to unpack, before he was hightailin' it out the door."

Sara's heart broke for the man. "What did you mean when you said after everything you had put yourself through for him?"

Nick shook his head, dropping to the end of his bed to put some socks on. "It doesn't matter."

"Okay." She wasn't one to pry, but this had really peeked her curiosity. "We better hit the road. I threw a couple of t-shirts and jeans in that bag there. I'll leave you to get your own underwear."

He cracked a grin in her direction. "Is that why you haven't moved in with Daddy dearest yet? Are you afraid of his tighty whiteys?"

"Don't call him that. And no. He doesn't wear those."

"Mm hmm," The man hummed, heading for his underwear drawer. He still had no idea what he was going to say to the younger man, but he figured a road trip right now was better than staying home alone. There was more alcohol downstairs and he didn't favour his chances of avoiding it. "Okay, I'm ready." He hurried past her to the bathroom, remembering to grab his toothbrush and razor first.

Sara led the way back to her car, watching Nick locking the house up tightly. She let him sit in the passenger seat of her car this time, no plastic required. "Is Greg the first guy you've ever dated?" She gave him a curious look as he buckled himself in.

"Yes." He nodded his head, cracking a grin. "A year ago I wouldn't have answered that question."

"Is that what you meant about the…"

"Can we go?" He motioned out the front of the car. "It's a four hour drive, Sidle."

"Okay Stokes," She started the car, plugging her seatbelt in. "You can answer my questions on the way. Starting with how he even managed to seduce you in the first place. The last _girl_ friend you introduced us to was an underwear model or something. How do you go from a bunny to Greg?"

Nick threw his head back in laughter, reaching for the radio in front of him. "I'm a gentleman, Sara. I don't kiss and tell."

"I can talk _over_ music, you know." She yelled over the pop song. "Greg is seriously the first guy you've ever been with? You know, that doesn't actually surprise me. I think it would take someone like Greg to get someone as stubborn as you out of the closet."

"No, no, no… I was never _in_ any closet, Sidle. I never even thought about another guy in that way until Greg. And I'm not really that attracted to men… it's just… Greg."

"That's kind of adorable."

"Get drivin', Sidle. Grissom's waitin' for his booty call."

The woman rolled her eyes. "It sounds dirty when you say it like that."

* * *

"Dad, you've changed nine bulbs now. I think you should give up and just buy a whole new set." Greg called from the patio, holding the box of blown bulbs tightly in his hands. The weather had suddenly taken a turn for the worse, bringing a chill to the air. Goose bumps prickled their way across his exposed legs and arms, making his nipples feel as though they could cut glass.

Daniel screwed in another new bulb, scratching his chin as they still refused to light up. "They were working earlier. One of these must be blown and it's stopping the flow to the others."

"Did you forget about the sparks and the explosion? They're probably fried." Greg reminded him, hearing the bulbs clattering together as he continued to shiver. "Do we really need the sleigh to light up? Rudolph's nose is working now. It's the wrong colour, but it's pretty."

"It's a tradition. Hold on, I think there's some lose wiring here."

"Well don't touch it!" Greg freaked. "You've still got it plugged in."

"Never mind. It's grass." The man chuckled in the dimly lit back yard, dropping the lights to the ground. He scratched his head as he tried to think, looking as though a light bulb just popped in his own head as he returned to the outlet. He pulled the plug from the socket, fiddling with it for a moment before he shouted, "Ah ha. It's the fuse." He pulled out the tiny device. "It's completely blown. I might have a spare in the shed."

"Ugh," Greg groaned, shivering on the spot. He didn't understand the sentimental value of a rusted old reindeer and sleigh. Sure he remembered it from his childhood, but it wasn't a prized possession or anything. He saw it once a year in the garden and it made him excited that Santa would be coming soon, but setting it up late afternoon on Christmas Day didn't make any sense.

"Sweetheart, why don't you come inside for a bit?" His mother called from the back door. "At least put a sweatshirt on. It's freezing out here. Your father hasn't given up on those yet?"

"No. I'd tell him to Google it, but we'll probably be here until the New Year." He set the box of bulbs down, feeling his knees cracking from the cold as he climbed to his feet. He made his way back inside, breathing in the delicious scent of the roasting turkey coming from the oven. "Where's Nana gone?"

"Taking a nap in the other room. I think that alcohol went straight to her head. We found the Monopoly board if you fancy a game later."

Greg sighed softly, another family tradition he would gladly give up. "Papa Olaf was always banker."

"He always cheated too." Jean smiled at her son. "He'd always slip you a five hundred if you were losing and short everyone on the collect two hundred past go." She gently patted her son on the back, pecking a kiss to his cheek. "I miss him too."

"He liked Nick." Greg remembered him saying so. "He told me not to waste this chance. I feel like I've disappointed him now."

"Oh honey, you could never disappoint him. He was proud of everything you did." She brushed her hand across his arm, catching him shivering. "Go put on a sweater or something. You're making me cold. Don't worry; your father will be just fine on his own."

"I'm worried he's going to electrocute himself… again. Remember the kitchen fan he swore he could repair."

Jean giggled at the memory. "I still don't know how he managed to hit the water pipe. He was only using a screwdriver. I'll keep an eye on him." She gave him a smile. "I'll make you a coffee to warm you up. Only the instant stuff, I'm afraid."

"It's okay. Thanks, Mom." He gave her a smile, heading for the stairs. He dug around inside the bag at the bottom of his bed, until he found the sweatshirt he had stolen from Nick's side of the closet during his haste to move out. He held it up to breathe in the familiar scent of the older man, feeling tingles in his stomach, before he pulled it on over his head. The sleeves were a little long on him, but it felt like a snug warm hug, surrounded by the scent of the man he adored.

He missed him so much.

Greg sat himself on his bed, retrieving his phone from its charging spot on the side. He scrolled through his contacts, hovering his thumb over 'Nick' for a few moments, before he tossed the phone to the bed beside him. He couldn't make the first move after leaving him like that. He couldn't even call him now. He didn't know if he was working or sleeping. He always knew what he was doing before.

He felt so out of the loop.

Getting up from the bed, Greg made his way downstairs, following his nose to the freshly made cup of coffee sat on the side. He searched around for his mother with the mug between his hands, spotting his parents out in the garden, holding hands as they watched the sun setting in the distance.

He wished he still had that.

"Is that carol singers?" He heard his Nana from the other room. He found her poking her head through the blinds, watching a crowd of singers across the street. "What a bloody nightmare. They're not even in tune. In my day, you could tell those idiots to leave you alone and go bother someone else. Now you have to be nice and polite or they'll call the cops on you."

Greg cracked a smile, joining his Nana by the window. "Think it'll snow?"

"Not likely. It's too warm here for that. I haven't seen snow since you were yay high." She held her hand up to her hip. "I do miss the snow. Your Papa Olaf wanted to move us to Alaska at one point. Even in the summer it snows there. I told him I would never be able to garden in a place like that, but he just wanted to see some white on the ground."

Greg stepped closer, sliding his free hand into hers. "Do you miss him?"

"Every day." She gave her grandson a smile. "This is my first Christmas without him in… sixty years. He always thought we'd die together. Stubborn old fool had to be the first one to go, leave me with all of this. At least I get to spend some more time with my grandbaby." The woman smiled, pulling him closer. "Think I'll live to see you marry that southern boy?"

"I don't think I'm marriage material."

"Neither was I. Your Papa proposed to me twenty nine times before I finally said yes. The stubborn git wouldn't let it go. We already had a child out of wedlock, fled from our families to start our life here, but it wasn't enough for him. You were still in diapers when I finally walked down the aisle with him. Nothing showy. Just a little ceremony with a few friends and family. My father refused to make the trip to give me away. He told me never to come back the day I left with your Mom in my belly and I never saw him again until he was in a box in the ground."

Greg clutched his Nana's hand a little tighter, grateful that his family were always there to love and support each other. "Do you think he would marry me?"

"He'd be a fool not to."

"Greg," His father called from the door. "Baby steps." He reminded his son, fearing wedding bells in the not so distant future would only make things worse. "Can I have a hand with the sleigh? We're moving it to the front garden."

"You've got it working then?" His Nana giggled. "I doubt it'll survive that journey, Daniel. It's on its last legs already. You're better off leaving it where it is."

"It's working fine." He ushered his son out of the room. "Marriage?" He gave him a curious look. "When I said to talk to him, I didn't mean about something like that. You can't fix this by marrying him."

"I wasn't going to propose or anything. Don't worry, I heard you. Baby steps." He assured him. "I'm gonna call him later so we can talk about what happened the other day."

"Good." He nodded, leading the way outside. "Not that I wouldn't be happy if you did want to marry him… in the very distant future. I just don't think you're quite there yet."

"Noted." Greg ditched his coffee mug, joining his father outside. He grabbed the front of the sleigh while his father took the back, following his mother's lead with the reindeer. They shambled their way through the side gate of the house, waiting for Daniel to find the perfect position on their front lawn to set it up.

"Is there going to be a grand unveiling?" Nana Olaf joined them, brushing her hands across her arms to keep them warm.

"Wait for it." Daniel plugged in the lights.

Rudolph's new blue nose immediately lit up, followed by the string of lights on the sleigh. Santa had completely had it, but the twinkle of lights coming from the reins made his rosy red cheeks glow under the dimly lit sky.

"Yay!" Nana Olaf cheered, clapping her hands together. "I give it an hour before the whole lot goes up in smoke."

"It's not going to go up in smoke. It's fine. We did a good job." Daniel smiled at his son, admiring his handy work. "Is that turkey ready yet? I'm starving." He felt his stomach growling with hunger.

"Not yet, we've got another hour yet." Jean consulted her timer tucked in the pocket of her apron. "Who's up for a game of Monopoly?"

"Oh, I'm banker." Nana raced them back into the house, going straight for the board.

"You coming, sweetheart?" Greg's mother gently placed her hand on his shoulder. "You know, it's not too late to invite him over. I'm sure he's just as miserable as you right now."

"Somehow I doubt that."

* * *

Nick threw his head back in laughter, shaking his head at the woman. "Okay remember when I said I didn't want to hear about you and Grissom doin' the nasty? If there's more stories like that, then I _definitely_ want to hear them. I haven't laughed that hard in weeks." He choked for a breath, adjusting himself in his seat. "So after all that fuss, did you guys get to…?"

"Nope." Sara shook her head, keeping her hands on the wheel. "He did his back in climbing all those flights of stairs. He spent the night sleeping on the floor."

"Ouch. Poor guy. All that trouble for you and he didn't even get his reward." Nick rubbed his ribs where he had been laughing so hard, wishing Greg was here with them. "I didn't exactly go all out for Greg on our first night. I showed up drunk at his apartment. I had only known about his feelin's for me for a few of weeks and I really wanted to take the next step with him and be the kind of guy that he wanted… he kept pushin' me for an answer. I wasn't sure what I wanted, let alone how to be with a guy. I had a few too many shots for courage, showed up on his doorstep and gave him exactly what he had been beggin' me for. I think it only lasted a minute or so, before he was holdin' me upright over the toilet so I didn't crack my head open."

"Greg begged for it?" She raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"No. He kept demandin' an answer from me. He said he didn't want to be some straight guy's experiment so if I was serious about him, I had to show him." Nick looked down at his hands, wishing things had gone a little better. "He wasn't only my best friend. He was Greg. I didn't know if I could do that… but once I was with him… really with him. It felt like we were meant to be together."

"Aw, that's sweet." Sara spoke softly, realising Greg had fabricated a few details when he told her the story. "I'm amazed he's still with you after that."

"He's not." He reminded her. "Maybe we should go back. It's not too late, right?"

"We've been in the car for two and half hours, Nick. I'm not turning back now. You need to talk to him. And we need to take a pit stop." She noticed the flashing red light on her dash. "I don't have enough gas for the other half of our journey."

"Not to go dutch on yah, but I didn't exactly pack my wallet." Nick gritted his teeth together as he searched his pockets. "Shit, no phone either."

"I have my purse… somewhere," Sara felt a chill travelling down her spine, realising it wasn't sat in its usual spot beside her. She thought back to Nick's house, rolling her eyes as she realised she had set it down in his room. "No I don't. Oh shit, we're in the middle of the fucking desert. Neither of us has a phone or a wallet and there's no gas station for miles."

"Don't panic, there's a truck stop a few miles that way." He tried to remember. "Although… I think we might have passed it already. How did you not realise you were runnin' on empty?"

"We've been talking. I don't pay attention to things like that when someone is talking to me." She defended herself, desperately trying to think. "Okay, okay… I think I have a radio in the back of my car, so we're not completely cut off from civilisation."

"Good luck gettin' a signal out here. Remember when we were searchin' for those remains of the helicopter pilot that went down? We couldn't call for backup until we got within city limits."

"Wait, what's this?" Sara slowed the car a little, pointing to a sign.

"One day only. Sofa sale event." He read it for her, cracking a grin. "I don't think that will help us. Just keep drivin'. There's dozens of truck stops along here. If we've been on the road about two and half hours then we should be pullin' up to this little truck stop and diner that Greg and I stopped at the last time we came this way."

"You're sure?"

"Reasonably." He nodded slightly, cracking another smile in her direction. "Hey, at least you're not alone, right? There's nothin' worse than bein' stranded on your own. Ah ha… I've got ten bucks." He found the notes stuffed deep down inside his jeans pocket. "See, things are already lookin' up, Sidle."

"It's a sign see. In the movies nothing would stop the lovers from being reunited on Christmas Day."

"You've gotta stop with that Hallmark Christmas crap." He rolled his eyes at her. "I didn't even bring his Christmas presents with me. I don't even know if he'll let me through the front door and I doubt his family are goin' to be thrilled to see me after he's told them all about our breakup."

"How did he do it?" Sara queried, keeping her eyes on her flashing tank. "Break up with you, I mean. I can't imagine you two fighting."

"Oh we do… a lot. Usually we find a way to resolve it, but this time… he said somethin' about bein' on the same page, grabbed a bunch of his stuff and walked out the door. I thought he'd come back as soon as he calmed down. He usually does. One time he was mad at me, he drove around the block three times then came back in the house and called me a jerk for bein' right."

Sara smirked, rolling her eyes. "Gil and I don't really fight. We used to… a lot. Mostly about the fact that he wanted to keep everything private and secret, like he was ashamed of me or something. We argue about work or his mother every few months… but we never get into heated arguments like that."

"Greg's very stubborn."

"Takes one to know one." She grinned at him. "I think Greg will take one look at you and go all weak in the knees. He's a soppy romantic at heart. Did you know he's seen the Titantic…"

"Fourteen times. Yeah, I've seen it twice since I've been with him."

Sara giggled softly, pointing towards a sign. "You were right. Big Mama's Steak House. That definitely sounds right up your alley." She took the turning, relieved to see the twinkling lights of a Christmas tree in the window.

"Mmm, wish we could stop," Nick felt his stomach grumbling with hunger. "But I wonna see, Greg."

"I'll just get gas. Thank you." She snatched the cash from her companion's hand. "You pump. I'll pay. Think they have a ladies room?"

"Uh… you might want to try the Steak House. They have nicer bathrooms. Hey Sara," He stopped her from climbing out so fast. "Thank you. If you hadn't of brought me along."

"You'd be drowning in your own self pity, I know." She cracked a grin. "You can thank me later when you've got him back. And you will get him back."

"I hope so." He let her go, starting to feel like a kid on Christmas at the thought of seeing Greg again.

* * *

"It's a little dry."

"Shut up mother, it's not dry at all. There's plenty of gravy to soak it in." Jean set the gravy boat on the table, hurrying back to the kitchen for the rest of the vegetables. "Greg careful, that's just come out of the oven." She grabbed an oven mitt for him. "Can you take the peas through? I just want to give the stuffing a few more minutes while your father is still carving the turkey. Careful."

"Mom, I'm not ten years old anymore." He gave her a glare, carrying the serving dish of peas through to the dining room, "Mom said the stuffing just needs a few more minutes."

"Turkey could have done with a few less." Nana Olaf poked at the slice on her plate. "Do you know what we should eat more of at Christmas? Your Papa once took me to this little restaurant in Florida for our anniversary. They served honey roasted ham with duck that had been stuffed with lemon and thyme. It was amazing. He never took me back there again though. Cheapskate."

Greg giggled softly, grabbing a few slices of turkey from the serving tray. "Where's the wishbone?"

"Here." Daniel grabbed one end, presenting the other half to his son. "Make a wish, kiddo."

Closing his eyes, Greg pictured the image of the man he adored, before he pulled away his half of the wish bone. He gave his father a smile as he dropped the bigger half to his plate, hoping this was one wish that would come true.

"Stuffing is ready." Jean sung, carrying the last item through to the dining room. She took her seat, smiling round the table at her family. "Happy Christmas." She exclaimed. "C'mon then, let's eat."

"Finally," Nana grabbed her cutlery, rather than picking at the turkey with her fingers. She paused as she heard the chime of the doorbell, groaning softly. "If that's those bloody carol singers."

"I'll get it." Daniel ditched the carving knife, weaving around the table to get to the door. He smiled at the sight of his Santa's sleigh still alight, pulling the door open to see an anxious young man with wide puppy dog eyes. "Nick… hello." He gave the man an approving smile. "I'll go get him for you."

"Thank you, Mr Sanders." Nick managed to breathe again, taking a step back from the door. He waved to Sara and Grissom in the car on the street, wishing they could leave him alone for this last part, but Sara was rather instant on seeing their Hallmark movie ending. He felt a little awkward with them watching and waiting, but he owed her after she dragged him from the gutter to get him here.

After a minute or so of waiting, Nick turned to see the shadowy figure of his former boyfriend in the doorway, feeling his heart pounding against the surface of his chest.

God he was beautiful.

The ends of his sandy brown hair were starting to curl they were getting so long. His beautiful skin was pale and speckled with the adorable clusters of moles he loved to trace with his tongue. There was dark shading of stubble beginning to grow on his chin and upper lip, only making Nick more curious about what he would look like with a full beard.

"Hi." The man finally managed to choke out.

"Hi." Greg pulled the door behind him to give them some privacy from his family, taking a step out into the cold. He spotted the car parked on the street, spying Sara and Grissom poorly concealed in the front of the car. "Family road trip?" He gave the man a quizzical look.

"Somethin' like that." Nick cracked a grin. "You won't believe the day I've had." He had a whole speech planned on the journey from Sara's broken down car to Grissom's hotel, but he couldn't remember a word of it now he was stood in front of him. He advanced towards the younger man, cupping his cheeks in his palms as he stole a kiss from his deliciously sweet lips.

Losing himself in the moment, Greg closed his eyes, placing his hands over Nick's as the man's fingers weaved through his hair. He melted into the man's embrace, forgetting all his reasons for letting him go.

He was back. That's all that mattered.

"My father warned me that you would be my downfall." Nick smirked, nipping a playful kiss to the younger man's bottom lip. "He was right. Four days without you and I'm already a total wreck."

Feeling as though he was having what could only be described as an out of body experience, Greg asked, "Are you real?"

"I'm real." He grinned, resting his forehead to Greg's. "I know because I can't believe I just did that with Grissom watchin'." He slid his hands towards his partner's waist, pulling the younger man tighter into his embrace.

"Maybe you could give him some pointers."

Nick choked out a laugh, burying his face into the other man's shoulder. He breathed in his familiar scent, feeling completely safe and secure in his arms. "Please don't leave me again. I don't think my heart could take it. Whatever I did, I'm sorry, G. You have to believe that I would never intentionally do anythin' to sabotage what we have."

Sliding his arm around the man's shoulders, Greg pulled him closer, feeling his heart pounding heavily against his own. "I had a good reason. I wanted you to be happy."

"Did I not make it clear to you that I was happy with you?" Nick asked with his mouth touching the nape of the other man's neck.

"Sometimes I wonder why you're even with me."

"Because I love you and I _want_ to be with you. I've always told you how I felt about you. I promised to always tell you everythin' from the moment we first kissed. No secrets. No lies." He reminded him of his promise, pulling back to look into his partner's eyes. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You make me happy, Greg. You're infuriatin' and stubborn," He grinned against his parted lips. "But I love you more than I've ever loved anythin' in the whole world."

Greg allowed a smile to grace his lips, curious to know, "Even more than your truck?"

"Oh," Nick sucked in a sharp breath, bursting into a smile. "Definitely. She can't hold me like you can."

"It's really creepy when you say things like that."

Nick chuckled softly. "I'm sorry, but it's true."

"And you still want to be with me?"

"I do." Nick replied, his pulse skyrocketing at the thought of rejection after all of this. "I know you like leavin' me in suspense for a more dramatic reply… but please," He begged him with his eyes. "I can't wait any longer to know. Just tell me what I did to push you away. If I don't know what it is… I can't promise I won't do it again."

Staring into his boyfriend's deep chocolate brown eyes, Greg smiled, touching his hand to the man's cheek. "Nick, I love you too. But… we don't want the same things."

"What do you mean?" His brow twisted in confusion.

"Ever since I've known you, you've had all these plans for the future. You talk about having a family, building a life… something that I've never really thought about. I don't want to lose you or what we have… and I should have said this to you earlier rather than breaking up with you… but I'm not… I don't," He struggled to find the right words, leaving the man in suspense a few minutes longer. "I don't know if I want kids or if I will ever be ready for them. I don't even know if I want a dog. I'm not really a dog person. A cat maybe… but even that's a stretch."

"That's what… this was all about?" He frowned, trying to wrap his head around it all.

"I wanted you to have all the things you've been dreaming of all your life. I don't want to hold you back or stand in your way. I love you… but I can't promise you the life that you want."

"Greg, I've been worried sick about what I did to push you away. I can't believe that's all it took." He slid his arms around the younger man, lifting him from the ground as he spun their bodies. "Ugh," He groaned, giving the man a wide Texas smile. "See you're infuriatin'. For a really smart guy, you can be a right idiot sometimes, G." He laughed as he set him down to hold him tight. "I friggin' love you, Greg. Only you would break up with someone four days before Christmas to make them happy."

"You mean you don't want all that stuff?" Greg gave him a confused look, spotting his entire family in the window watching them.

"Greg, I want you more than anythin'. I'm okay with not havin' kids. I'm turnin' forty next year. I've lived this long without them. I'm even okay with not havin' a dog. If I don't have you in my life, then there's no point to any of it. I was just talkin' about possible futures, tryin' to get a sense of where you were at. I wasn't settin' anythin' in stone." He kissed him again, bursting into a wide smile. "I can't believe that was all it was. I'd thought I'd lost you."

"I don't want you to _just_ be okay with me, Nicky. I want you to be happy."

"Ugh," Nick threw his head back, taking hold of the younger man's hands. "Greg, I don't need a child to validate our relationship. I want you. I _only_ want you. You're the man of my dreams. The man I want to live with for the rest of my life." He dropped to his knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes. "I love you, Greg. You make me happier than I've been my entire life. Even this ridiculous argument right now is makin' me happier than I've been all friggin' week."

Blown away by the sentiment, Greg burst into a smile, quickly pointing out, "You realise you probably just gave my Nana a heart attack by dropping to your knees in front of me like that."

"Both knees doesn't count." The man objected, giving his boyfriend a smile. "Although, I wouldn't completely rule out the idea of a…"

"Nick." Greg put his finger to the man's lips, stopping him from saying anything else. "There's one more thing we should probably talk about."

"You're not goin' to tell me you're already married, are you?"

"What? No." He shook his head. "This is about us. We need to… take things a little slower. Put on the breaks and just take… baby steps, which means no proposals or dramatic gestures. No big out of the blue decisions about us or our future. I just want to enjoy being with you. Getting to know you better, spending time with you… we've only been together for ten months."

"Besides this last week, it's been the most amazin' ten months of my life."

His whole body shaking with nerves, Greg dropped to his knees, taking hold of the other man's hands. "I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone. I love that you came all this way to get me back, but I don't think we're ready for a huge commitment like that… yet."

"I can wait. I waited all my life to find you."

Smiling, Greg brushed his thumb across the other man's cheek. "You're such a soppy romantic."

"I thought you loved that about me?"

He looked into his eyes. "I love everything about you, Nicky."

"Good." Wrapping his arms around Greg's waist, Nick tugged him close. He buried his face into his shoulder, finally spotting the Sanders clan in the window. "I can see your mother handin' out the Kleenex."

"A year ago you would have gone into a full blown panic attack at the thought of someone seeing you with me." Greg brought his mouth to his partner's ear, feeling the warmth of his hands on his spine. "I hope you planned on sticking around for a while. My Mom just made Christmas dinner. And there's no way I'm letting you go back alone."

"I don't think I can let you go, so that's cool with me. You might have to help me up though. I've got a cramp in my knee. Kneelin' on a stone shingle driveway wasn't exactly my best romantic gesture."

Throwing his head back in laughter, Greg relinquished his grip on the man, pushing himself to his feet. He reached out for his beloved's hands, assisting the man to his feet in one swoop. "I suppose we shouldn't wait too long on that proposal. You might not be able to get down there in a few years." He teased.

"Hey, I've been on my feet all day workin' and this driveway isn't exactly a satin pillow." Nick brushed the extra shingle away from his jeans. "I do have one proposal for you." He caught the man's hand, placing something in his palm. He curled the younger man's fingers around the object, stopping him from taking a peak. "This was supposed to be our first Christmas together."

"It still can be."

"So, move back in with me. It's technically our place anyway and it feels so weird bein' there without you."

"I..."

A series of bright flashes suddenly sparked from the nearby decorations. Ruldolph's nose sizzled, a pillar of grey smoke boiling from the blue bulb. A chain reaction of sparks flared from the string of lights on the reins, bursting bulbs and shattering glass across the flowerbed. Smouldering sparks licked the base of Santa's sleigh, blazing out of control. A plume of fire exploded from the depths of the sleigh, melting Santa in its wake.

"Well, that's not exactly the sign I was hopin' for when I found you." Nick smirked, holding the younger man protectively in his arms. "But I'll take it. I promised Sara a Hallmark movie endin' if she got me to you." He braced his arm around Greg's lower back, bending him over his arm to steal a kiss from his lips with the crackle of fire behind them. "Merry Christmas, G."

Greg's heart soared. He returned the man's smile, feeling as though he was on cloud nine again after living through the worst week of his life. "Merry Christmas, Nicky."

 **The End**


End file.
